The waggon

My ex and I had a chat this morning. I gave her a “Kalendergave” this morning. A small rubiks cube. For me it symbolised our relationship and I know how much she loves to solve puzzles. It got us talking and I basically told her how I was feeling. Much of what I said to her was in last couple of night’s posts. She asked if that meant that I thought we shouldn’t get back together? I said no, I didn’t think we should. Life moves on. We’ll both be better off in the long run. I feel happy about this decision. I have listened to the voice inside of me and it’s for the best.

The reason for the title of this post is that I’ve fallen off the waggon. I have smoked dope the last two days. Stopping for a couple of days cleared my head, but I felt that I needed space to bring my relationship to an end. Plus I felt like it. But I am back in control again. I’m am going to put the piece somewhere safe and forget about it until next Saturday. I will not smoke before Saturday night. I would really like to spend my days off clear-headed. My long-term goal is still to stop smoking dope and it doesn’t really matter if I fall off the waggon, as long as I get back on again.

Am really looking forward to my days off. I’m meeting up with friends all my nights off, so I’m quite busy but it’s gonna be great to be out of the house and in control.

Have a good day.