The waggon

My ex and I had a chat this morning. I gave her a “Kalendergave” this morning. A small rubiks cube. For me it symbolised our relationship and I know how much she loves to solve puzzles. It got us talking and I basically told her how I was feeling. Much of what I said to her was in last couple of night’s posts. She asked if that meant that I thought we shouldn’t get back together? I said no, I didn’t think we should. Life moves on. We’ll both be better off in the long run. I feel happy about this decision. I have listened to the voice inside of me and it’s for the best.

The reason for the title of this post is that I’ve fallen off the waggon. I have smoked dope the last two days. Stopping for a couple of days cleared my head, but I felt that I needed space to bring my relationship to an end. Plus I felt like it. But I am back in control again. I’m am going to put the piece somewhere safe and forget about it until next Saturday. I will not smoke before Saturday night. I would really like to spend my days off clear-headed. My long-term goal is still to stop smoking dope and it doesn’t really matter if I fall off the waggon, as long as I get back on again.

Am really looking forward to my days off. I’m meeting up with friends all my nights off, so I’m quite busy but it’s gonna be great to be out of the house and in control.

Have a good day.

Should I stay or should I go?

I’m feeling stronger every day. I am beginning to feel that Louise made the right decision in ending the relationship. After my crisis 2 years ago, when I fell out of love with my ex, I decided to compromise in a lot of ways to be able to live the dream of marrying my girl. That might have been the wrong decision, but at least I gave it a shot.

I am beginning to feel that I’m in control again. I think that we were both chasing a feeling that was once there and I respect her for having the guts to end an unhappy relationship. Thank you baby you have opened a whole new world of opportunites for me.

If I hadn’t mentioned it, I am in the process of putting my restaurant up for sale. This means that I have to find something new after January/February. Originally when all of this started four weeks ago I decided to sell the restaurant and I thought that I would find a job as a web designer. However I’m beginning to feel that maybe going south to the alps and working as a luxury chalet chef or chalet manager might be a very interesting move. 

I am highly qualified to do it and the sun and sports would really do a lot of good for my soul. I think it would also be a hell of a lot of fun. It would mean admiting that I was only in Denmark for ex. It would mean that I’d be leaving some friends behind, but there’s always facebook and good friends keep in touch.